Third Time A Charm?

Okay Van Halen (not Van Hagar), I'm giving you one last chance to rip out my heart and tap dance on it. I hope you will not take me up on this. I hope you can put your Volkswagon-sized egos aside for the next couple months and give the fans what they've been hungering for since roughly the summer of 1985. Based on the past, I understand this will not be easy, but I know you can do it. At the press conference today, you said all the right things, expressed near-embarassing amounts of love, and even promised to continue on into the future. Having had my hopes dashed at least twice, you'll forgive me if I do not hold my breath. But alas, I am hopeful and happy, as I cling to this last wisp of youthful nostalgia. I simply want to drink a few overpriced stadium beers, buy a t-shirt with that bitchin' VH logo, and pump my devil-horned fingers in the air like I was fourteen again, while you bash out "Unchained." If this is not too much to ask, then I will be seeing you soon.

Five minutes, thirteen seconds of rock perfection.