Aye Carumba! No Midgets In Sombreros On Cinco De Mayo

(File this story under "you have to laugh to keep from crying". Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? This short article is packed with things [I hope] you didn't know, and probably didn't want to...)

LOS ANGELES (Wireless Flash) — Putting a midget in a sombrero filled with chips and salsa is a huge party foul this Cinco De Mayo (May 5). That’s the scoop from Chris Fetterer, owner of tinyentertainment.com, a Southern California based company that books midgets for parties. Fetterer’s tiny folks will appear at several Cinco de Mayo fiestas, and while they have no problem sporting ponchos and fake mini-moustaches, they are absolutely against wearing sombreros filled with chips and salsa. He says, “We get the joke, but it’s one of the things our guys refuse to do. It’s demeaning, and reduces our guys to a piece of furniture. To be honest, it’s not even as good as it sounds.” Fetterer says his mini-minglers can be the life of your Cinco de Mayo bash, and will gladly speak in a Spanish accent and pour tequila down thirsty partiers’ throats.